Time for a living will
06/04/16 05:34
Jill Bolte Taylor was a successful scientist who was beginning to gain some acclaim for her research. Her field was neuroanatomy and she had been engaged in mapping which areas of the brain are responsible for which parts of memory and other human functions such as vision, hearing, speech and the like. Then she woke up with a severe headache on December 10, 1996. It took her quite a while to figure out what was going on, even though she was an educated brain researcher. By the time she had made enough of a self diagnosis to realize the severity of her condition she had lost the use of her right hand and arm. What was happening was that she was having a stroke. The blood clot that was removed from her brain during the resulting emergency surgery was significant. She awoke from surgery without her memories and without her ability to speak. She had to learn to talk all over - from scratch. Her recovery, which has indeed been remarkable, took over eight years of full-time work, during which her primary caregiver was her mother.
Taylor was not yet 40 years old when her stroke occurred.
Her book, “My Stroke of Insight,” is an amazing story of perseverance and recovery. I have heard her TED talk and have heard several interviews with her about the experience.
An interesting bit of trivia for me is that long before I had heard of Jill Bolte Taylor, I have a friend who went through a similar experience. Grant Sontag was working in the National Setting of our church back in 1996. He was involved with a team of people from our denomination who were working on a new set of resources for Confirmation preparation. He was young and brilliant and was an inspiration for many of us in our church. Then on March 22, 1996, Grant suffered a devastating stroke. It left him unable to work, unable to provide for his own basic care. As he struggled through his equally long recovery from the effects of the stroke other colleagues who were serving in Cleveland at the time supported him with visits, while a huge network of us supported him with our prayers. Like Taylor, Grant’s recovery has been incredible. Like Taylor, his recovery has taken years.
I was thinking about those two people and the many lessons they have taught others from their own personal experiences yesterday as I met with a couple in completely different circumstances. The people with whom I met are in their eighties and have, for the most part, experienced excellent health. There have been, however, some signs of their mortality. Heart disease has required treatment and they spend more time with doctor’s appointments than was the case when they were younger. Yesterday the wife brought up the topic of living wills. I was surprised to learn that neither of them had such a document. I found out that they had, some years ago, done some estate planning and an attorney had assisted them with crafting their wills, but they had not taken care of living wills or durable power of attorney for health care decision documents. I had a preliminary conversation with them, recommended that they return to their attorney, and got them a copy of the 5 wishes document that is legally recognized in our state. I hope they follow up.
I’ve known this couple for more than 20 years. They are active church members and during that time we have had four or five different sessions in our church that focused on planning for aging, living wills, 5-wishes, and other topics. At least twice in the last six years we have had lenten studies that focused on issues of aging and end of life decisions. I was surprised that this couple had not previously gotten information on 5 wishes or living wills.
I’m not a doctor and I’m not an attorney. I try hard to refer to other professionals and to not engage in giving legal or medical advice. But there are days when I want to scream, “Hey People! Get with it! Have those difficult conversations and make your plans. None of us is exempted from illness, disability or death.”
At any age and at any life phase a single event can render a person incapable of making even the most basic decisions. A plan of what to do when such an event occurs is simply prudent. The failure to have a plan can result in severe family disagreement and trauma. I understand that it is difficult to think of yourself or your spouse having to be on a ventilator with life sustained by mechanical devices, but it can happen to anyone. Recovery from a major stroke often involves making a decision about the use of a ventilator. Fortunately for Jill Bolte Taylor and Grant Sontag the correct medical decisions were made. There are plenty of cases when those decisions aren’t easy and sound judgment is required. At least once every year, I am with families who are making decisions about withdrawing life-sustaining treatment when hope of recovery has faded. These are never easy decisions and are always influenced by a sense of what the patient would want, were he or she able to express his or her feelings. For families who have never had the conversation, they might not have any idea what their loved one would want.
So, without attempting to give legal advice, people need to know that there are two important documents. A living will is a specific set of instructions on what to do in a variety of different scenarios should the person making the will be rendered unable to express her or his wishes. A durable power of attorney for health care decisions names who will make health care decisions if the patient is unable to do so. 5 wishes is a form for making a particular kind of living will that is valid in 42 states and can be executed without the cost of an attorney. There is a 5-wishes online process that allows people to create, access, change and print a living will at any time.
The best time to create a living will is when you are feeling well and have time to carefully consider your ideas. Then you can return to it again and again, share conversation about it with your loved ones and adjust as your life circumstances change.
If you haven’t made a living will, do so soon. Please! Your family will be grateful.
Taylor was not yet 40 years old when her stroke occurred.
Her book, “My Stroke of Insight,” is an amazing story of perseverance and recovery. I have heard her TED talk and have heard several interviews with her about the experience.
An interesting bit of trivia for me is that long before I had heard of Jill Bolte Taylor, I have a friend who went through a similar experience. Grant Sontag was working in the National Setting of our church back in 1996. He was involved with a team of people from our denomination who were working on a new set of resources for Confirmation preparation. He was young and brilliant and was an inspiration for many of us in our church. Then on March 22, 1996, Grant suffered a devastating stroke. It left him unable to work, unable to provide for his own basic care. As he struggled through his equally long recovery from the effects of the stroke other colleagues who were serving in Cleveland at the time supported him with visits, while a huge network of us supported him with our prayers. Like Taylor, Grant’s recovery has been incredible. Like Taylor, his recovery has taken years.
I was thinking about those two people and the many lessons they have taught others from their own personal experiences yesterday as I met with a couple in completely different circumstances. The people with whom I met are in their eighties and have, for the most part, experienced excellent health. There have been, however, some signs of their mortality. Heart disease has required treatment and they spend more time with doctor’s appointments than was the case when they were younger. Yesterday the wife brought up the topic of living wills. I was surprised to learn that neither of them had such a document. I found out that they had, some years ago, done some estate planning and an attorney had assisted them with crafting their wills, but they had not taken care of living wills or durable power of attorney for health care decision documents. I had a preliminary conversation with them, recommended that they return to their attorney, and got them a copy of the 5 wishes document that is legally recognized in our state. I hope they follow up.
I’ve known this couple for more than 20 years. They are active church members and during that time we have had four or five different sessions in our church that focused on planning for aging, living wills, 5-wishes, and other topics. At least twice in the last six years we have had lenten studies that focused on issues of aging and end of life decisions. I was surprised that this couple had not previously gotten information on 5 wishes or living wills.
I’m not a doctor and I’m not an attorney. I try hard to refer to other professionals and to not engage in giving legal or medical advice. But there are days when I want to scream, “Hey People! Get with it! Have those difficult conversations and make your plans. None of us is exempted from illness, disability or death.”
At any age and at any life phase a single event can render a person incapable of making even the most basic decisions. A plan of what to do when such an event occurs is simply prudent. The failure to have a plan can result in severe family disagreement and trauma. I understand that it is difficult to think of yourself or your spouse having to be on a ventilator with life sustained by mechanical devices, but it can happen to anyone. Recovery from a major stroke often involves making a decision about the use of a ventilator. Fortunately for Jill Bolte Taylor and Grant Sontag the correct medical decisions were made. There are plenty of cases when those decisions aren’t easy and sound judgment is required. At least once every year, I am with families who are making decisions about withdrawing life-sustaining treatment when hope of recovery has faded. These are never easy decisions and are always influenced by a sense of what the patient would want, were he or she able to express his or her feelings. For families who have never had the conversation, they might not have any idea what their loved one would want.
So, without attempting to give legal advice, people need to know that there are two important documents. A living will is a specific set of instructions on what to do in a variety of different scenarios should the person making the will be rendered unable to express her or his wishes. A durable power of attorney for health care decisions names who will make health care decisions if the patient is unable to do so. 5 wishes is a form for making a particular kind of living will that is valid in 42 states and can be executed without the cost of an attorney. There is a 5-wishes online process that allows people to create, access, change and print a living will at any time.
The best time to create a living will is when you are feeling well and have time to carefully consider your ideas. Then you can return to it again and again, share conversation about it with your loved ones and adjust as your life circumstances change.
If you haven’t made a living will, do so soon. Please! Your family will be grateful.